Yesterday I did the hardest thing, as a journalist, I've ever done in my life. It's a long story involving a difficult person with essential information who was about to leave town and I caught him by phone on his way to the airport and had to do the interview then and there, with him being rather uncooperative. Today I have to try to reach his business partner, who yesterday said he didn't have time to talk to me.

This sort of thing goes right against my grain and in fact can make me feel like throwing up. Having said that, some serious meditation and prayer this morning has seemed to settle me and I feel relatively calm.

Anyhow, what's the worst that can happen? Well, that would be that (1) this guy I'm about to call will hang up on me (2) throwing the completion of the article into confusion so that (3) the next time the magazine needed a freelance writer they wouldn't call on me. But that wouldn't be the end of the world. Even though writing for this particular magazine would be a golden opportunity, the reality is that around here there are other fish to fry. Calgary's a booming place and editors reportedly are willing to try out newcomers--sometimes because they have no other choice.

In addition, there's that whole, vast untried North American market for freelance writing. I could take a part-time driving job (which appears quite possible from ads I see) while giving that a go. And if THAT went nowhere, I could simply take a full-time driving job while writing on the side.

I guess I'm figuring God knows best which option would work best and that He'll show me the way to go by the way things turn out.